Jason’s 14th Annual Post/Pre-Year Review/Goals

 Original URL: https://www.tumblr.com/countjason/768412610727198720/jasons-14th-annual-postpre-year-reviewgoals?source=share

Note: Tumblr sucks, but my entire archive of goals/retrospectives is over there.  However, I don't expect you to log into able to see this; they do, so I created this.

Here we go again—14 years… Christ, I'm getting old. This is probably the earliest I've started this, but that's fine. With one month remaining, my goals and where I landed are pretty locked in. Besides, as everyone celebrates Thanksgiving with their family, I'll go to my mom's and see my brother/sister-in-law and their son this afternoon for food, so I have time.

My opinion of 2024 was a year of change. This was the first year I was by myself in almost 10 years, trying to navigate being recently divorced, being a dad to a toddler, and managing through work. I moved out into a "meh" 2B/1B apartment, sold the "forever" home, and started over with what I'll only describe as a "minor setback." I don't have too much to complain about. I've been relatively happier, which is great. I did therapy until my therapist, and I felt I was as about as good as I was going to get with the transition, and things have been pretty good. I've been highly optimistic lately with all the great things happening right now. So, while this has been a transition year, it's been for the best.

With that, let's assess last year:

GOALS FOR 2024

Be a good dad - this is easy and hard at the same time. It's easy when I can just focus on my son, which is why every other weekend I have him, and I don't work. It's hard when I have him, and I have to work the other weekend, or I travel and miss the time that I rarely have made up. While I get the luxury of working from home, being tied to a computer with a 3-year-old running around is very hard. I thank God I don't have to work in an office and be forced to give up further custody since my ex-wife won't let me use my family, hirer a babysitter, or take him to a work-space that watches children as you work. I try to just remind myself I am luck I do get to see him make a mess 10 feet from me as I'm on a call than not knowing what's happening if he was in daycare.

[Accomplished] The first half of the year was tough. Dante got to the age where he wasn't ready for preschool yet, so I had him while I worked from home, which, as anyone can tell you, a toddler is rocket fuel and craziness wrapped into one. It was so hard to watch him and give him the time he wanted, it sucked. It always broke my heart when he'd come up to me and say, "Daddy, can you play with me?" and I had to tell him, "Sorry buddy, daddies at work, but if he gets a moment, I will go into your room and play with your toys, and I'll be there when I can."

*Internally sob like a bitch*

I mean, I didn't sign up to be a single dad. The only reason the mom was allowed to be a stay-at-home was to avoid this, but here we were. That moment passed, and he started preschool, which was good because I felt he was super smart but needed more social skills. With this guilt out of the way, I could focus exclusively on him when I had him, and in that area, I think I've been a pretty good dad. Each time I get him, I always try to do something special because I know this moment in time is short, and I must celebrate this time with him, given I don't see him every day.

Get back into shape - this has been slow progress but always seems to be on my list. I go to the gym semi-regularly these days and even as I write this, I'm planning on going to the gym when I'm done. I lost a lot of weight in 2023 and I don't want to gain it back.

[Kinda - still in progress] This is the goal...that never ends...this is the goal that neeeeeeverrends.

I mean, what can I say, I'm not where I want to be. I'm not going to blame "life" or "I'm in my 40's" or anything else just yet. Once I moved into the apartment, I got an annual membership to the gym and I'm back to going most days unless I have Dante. I did workout at moments that are traditionally not times you work out like on the cruise I went on.

Live Life - I'm not going to dwell on what could have been. I need to just move forward despite unplanned setbacks. What that means is if I lost my partner in crime, then I move on without. This was her choice not to forgive me. It was my choice not to put what I did on the same level as physical adultery cheating. I always liked going out and having fun. I liked meeting new people and getting new friends that I sorta stopped doing or retracted from when I was in my marriage so when I don't have my son, I am going to live my life by my rules. It's weird still but again, I don't have to ask permission to go out; the compromising I made now goes away.

[Accomplished] When I have Dante, I do something with him. When I don't have Dante, I do whatever I want for me - plain and simple. Early in the year, I made an active effort to reach out to all my friends that I stopped talking to BECAUSE I was told I couldn't talk to them; not because I wanted to. Some accepted me back. Others did not. That's their choice as I shouldn't have put such a choice on people to begin with and it was my fault I chose to listen to my ex-wife. So, I take 100% responsibility for my friend situation.

I also did things for me again - I went on a gothic cruise because I wanted to. I went to a vampire ball because I wanted to. I went events that I wanted to. It was nice to have some independence again with no everything I wanted to do leading to me having a guilty conscience.

The key I'm working on is balance.

Sell the house - this isn't so much of goal as it is a reality. However, with the market the way it is and needing to obtain a set dollar amount, I need to get out of this house so I can move closer to my son. I don't like driving 45 mins to get him or drive that far to get to Tampa where things are happening. New Port Richey is nice if you want to settle down and raise a family but that that opportunity has passed so now, I need to get back closer to Tampa.

[Begruntle Accomplished] - It sold and not for anywhere it's worth, but I couldn't keep forking over 60% of my income effectively to my ex-wife. She got the money, I promised her a bit more, and I'm slowly legally volunteering to give her a bit more because I'm a good guy and a man of my word, so that is that.

Vacation my way - I think the last 10 years, most vacations have been to please my ex-wife. The only one I recall that was something I wanted to do was Las Vegas but even then that was during the pandemic, so I haven't gone since to see shows and stuff. I also would like to go on maybe a themed cruise as I've been eye-balling the 2024 Gothic Cruise.

Yeah, going by myself will suck but I've managed going to things by myself in the past all the time and at least I don't have to worry about someone else's happiness the whole time, I can focus on mine.

[Accomplished] I did the cruise as I said, and it was a blast. I met a lot of new friends that I hope to be in contact with during future travels, but it was so refreshing to get a vacation I wanted to do for a change.

Of course, that was planned in early 2023 so what was unknown at the time was my trip to New Orleans. While it started as a trip to go to a vampire ball, it morphed into a great experience with "Pastel" and Lila and MAAAAAAAAN was that a good time. This is definitely the beginning of much more good times ahead.

Dance - God I missed dancing. At least now, I can go out and just dance and not care. Yeah, I'm turning into that old dude that looks 10 years too old trying too hard but you know what? I don't care. I enjoy it. Besides, at The Castle, the Senator proved to me early on, if you love something do it and F&$k what others think. I also, if I want to, can go into VRChat and dance. It's nice to be able to do what you like, without judgement over your head of things you're NOT doing, and focusing on what you ARE doing.

[Accomplished] Informal dancing has been something I do periodically. I don't go out every weekend nor do I want to in a sense that I want to have the option to pick and choose my battles since I'm balancing my time as a parent. I mean the last thing I want to do is be exhausted because I went out the night before and have Dante so it's all about picking my battles these days. What I will say is formal dancing is something that may be a new thing that is presenting itself as an option. Ms. Lila is a dancer and the two of us have been really excited for the future of dancing.

Succeed at work - work is harder these days being the equivalent of a Project Director but it's rewarding. The biggest issue I have right now is the future of the contract and if the company has a strategic change in future contract types that result in me traveling or living outside Florida. Some of this is in my control while other aspects aren't. However, the best I can do is do my best and continue to work hard, share my knowledge, give back to the team, and work on improving myself everyday.

[Accomplished] While I consider myself one of my company's premier program managers, the worries I had last year still exist. My previous boss's exit, which I felt was a primary issue, played into my concerns, so I still need to find out what the future will hold. I'm hoping for the best, but that's all we can do.

The company didn't win the Germany contract, so my worries about that were removed, which plays into my current living situation, too. However, I know the company is willing to promote me if the opportunities are there; it's just that the opportunities haven't been there yet.

Jason's Mojo Dojo Casa House - When I do sell the house, make the house mine. I can't tell if I want a house or a condo.

I've eyeballed both. I know location matters as I want to be closer to my son first and foremost. I also want to be closer to things that are going on so if that means moving to downtown Tampa, that's an option. When I do move, I want to work around what I was trying to do with the mancave and make it my home. I don't foresee myself buying anything with the expressed plan to have anyone move in with me; so, I want to make sure it fits my new life. A nice 2B/1B is the most I need. I can see my bedroom being gothic designed like Nadja's bar was with the living room being an 80's style arcade. We'll see. I've seen plenty of houses I've wanted come and go because the sale of the house is extremely slow.

[Failed with a caveat] Shortly after receiving the offer to be the Deputy Program Manager for the contract we were potentially winning, I moved into a "meh" apartment near where I used to live on Waters Ave in Tampa, which accomplished a couple of things. For starters, it was about 15 minutes from my ex-wife, which helped with the transfer of Dante. Prior to that, it was almost an hour's drive from New Port Richey, so this helped. Second, it was close to the Tampa office and airport, which helps in terms of managing the travel I do for work. Lastly, it's not ultra-expensive, but considering the economy, it's laughably expensive compared to my mortgage, which is just part of throwing away money. Into a new world we're in where even at how much I make, in order to sustain the type of living I want to do, where I put my shit and my head at night is almost less important than it used to be. My company didn't win the contract, so for now, I'm riding out the apartment lease, but I hate it here with all the problems I've had.

Tattoos - I decided that I wanted to finish my sleeve, so I got my right arm updated with the zombie candy corn apocalypse.

I want to refresh (re-tattoo) the older candy corn to freshen them up and maybe make the Las Vegas girl on my shoulder that's REALLY old a zombie pin-up refresh. I recently got Lydia and Beetlejuice on my forearms which represent "something that made me happy when I was a kid" and "love" whereby Lydia loved Beetlejuice no matter how horrible a person he could be (and goth girl...I mean, come on!), and Beetlejuice loved Lydia for being his only/best friend cared about her despite being selfish, gross, and cruel. It reminds me love of that kind does exist out there. Maybe I had it, but it's gone so having it at least reminds me it exists. I have a blank spot on my left arm that I think I want to reserve for drawing done by my son. Not sure so I'll pause there until I figure it out. Tattoos to me never had too much meaning so I can get away with it. Plus, speaking of getting away with it, the position I'm in at work and the acceptance of tattoos in the workplace make things a lot easier than it was 10 years ago.

[Accomplished] Sleeve complete. It even goes a bit beyond a normal sleeve but whatever. I will probably freshen up the older tattoos with redo's but that is not a primary goal and will fall off a goal list. I think the whole reason it was on the list in 2024 was because while I probably could previously, I would have felt guilty with spending that kinda money with my ex-wife because if it wasn't on bills, food, Dante, or her, it was a waste so I took a step back in what I wanted especially every time I bought something, I got an earful of grief.

Teach my son - This goes into maybe being a good dad, but I specifically want to teach my son things. I already am not able to teach him to fish since Luis beat me to it. So I'll probably find something like teach him to play video games, play the drums, play the guitar or other things. I want to pass something to him since there was so much I respected and loved my dad for but I didn't get any skills from him.

Ok - Hopefully 2024 is good - it's definitely a new beginning.

[Failed with a caveat] I really don't know what I can say I successfully accomplished teaching my son. Maybe some small things here or there I'm not giving myself credit for but using the goal from last year as a benchmark, I think the only thing I got him into, as of recently was playing "Just Beats and Shapes" which he gets super frustrated with but loves the music and watching Dad play until he wants to play again. It's encouraging because he gets frustrated too easily so his ability to bounce back is good.

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So that's 2024 in a nutshell. Now, let's talk about goals for 2025.

1. Be a good dad - Topping the charts at number #1 this year is being a good dad. This will probably be numero uno for a LONG time. The subgoal to measure how I did for this goal, I think, is to develop into a good boy who makes good choices. I will do my part in being firm when I need to be, but fun-loving when I don't need to be. I mean, the fact remains, I don't even get a chance to be more than 30% time share with the ex-wife for a long time, so there's some leeway I give myself that I wouldn't necessarily give myself if I had in 50% or greater.
   
   
2. Relationships - without giving away my current private life, I've been on cloud nine as of late. I'm working on a particular relationship, and it is going well. While there are clear challenges this current situation faces, I'm willing to work towards overcoming as many obstacles as possible, taking EVERYTHING I've learned, improving upon it, and just being what I've always been - me. Since assessing this goal is technically not my assessment, I'll go with vibe and what the situation is next year.
   
   
3. Vacation - I have about 17 days of Personal Time off going into 2025 and I'm a firm believer in the phrase "work hard but play harder." for 2025, I have some things I'm eyeballing, but they are just ideas so if I don't do them, that's not to say I failed my goal unless I can't at least list 2 things next year. For now, I'm eyeballing a trip to Las Vegas at maybe a rockabilly weekend; I've been researching on and off a vintage cruise from England to New York, and I'm sure between now, and next year, there will be something I'm not thinking about.
   
   
4. Promotion at work - I want Deputy or equivalent. I didn't get the Germany contract, which is fine, I spend more time with my son than I would have, and if you read my last post on Tumblr, it was letting God take the steering wheel, and he said, "Jason, you're staying" so I'm 100% okay with that but I'd like to advance my career a tad more. I'm not ready to abandon ship yet but if things don't appear like there's viable advancement, it's something I may look stronger into. I love my company and job, but I also don't like hitting walls.
   
   
5. Better Living Situation - Did you notice how I phrased that? Last year, I was looking into buying a house or condo, but that German contract threw a wrench in the gears, resulting in the current living situation. However, my apartment kinda sucks. The A/C barely works in the summer. It took 2 weeks to get a replacement refrigerator when it broke, which is unacceptable, and I do kinda miss taking Dante outside to play, which I just don't feel comfortable with today.
   
   I did get pre-approved for a VA loan, but I wonder if the market is the best timing too. Prices are just too damn high even for me. So, what I know right now is that I want to move out of this apartment, which I will do in April 2025. What I need to know is where. I do have Dante to consider, and if things play out in the relationship department, that also plays a factor. I have a crazy idea I'm kicking around in my head, but it's not something I will disclose here, so for now, the goal is a better living situation.
   
   
6. Formal Dance—Oh, let's do this. It would be great to get really good at formal dancing. I've always been a fan of dance but have never jumped 100% into it. This is a lofty goal but manageable.
   
   
   
   
   
7. Lose some weight - OH SHUT UP...I KNOW...EVERY YEAR, I KNOW.
   
   
8. Continue to drink less - I would say I've dialed back my alcohol a lot, which is a goal since things went south in my marriage as a crutch to how I was hiding my depression. I'm currently a social drinker to close the deal at work and a weekend beer drinker at best. This is great, and I think I can do better because, to be honest, it adds no value overall, probably hasn't helped with goal #7 for years, and frankly, I've been happy as of late, so it's been a lot easier. It also helps there are people around me who don't drink or eat bad, so this is something that makes things easier.
   
   
9. Host an Event - OK, NOW we're getting lofty, but you know what? Fuck it, let's throw it on the list of shit, and if it fails, okay...we can attack it again (like goal 7 for the last decade). It would be cool to maybe save up, rent out a bar, and throw an event. Even if I lose money, you can't make an omelet without cracking a few eggs.
   
   
10. Get out of the divorce debt - In 2024, one of the first things I did was take out a consolidated loan for 2 years to get the debt I obtained trying to cater to my ex-wife, ultimately failing, and then trying to manage bills while they house sat unsold forever. I'll be more or less halfway by April so this should be a reasonable goal overall. Granted, I'm okay with some debt - I mean, I can't take the money with me when I die, but I need to get that period of my life behind me where I accumulated that debt, and once that's done, I'll have much more flexibility in other areas.
    
    
11. (BONUS) - If I get Deputy Program Manager or equivalent, I want to reward myself with a goal of getting a Black C8 Chevy Corvette. Don't get my wrong, my 2016 Dodge Challenger R/T shaker with all-black trim, shaker hood scoop, and gothic esthetic did to it and sounds like America when you start the car and rev the engine is GREAT, but I do love the super car look and if I get Deputy, I want to set a goal to treat myself with this purchase.
    
    
    
    
    
    

Ok - so with one more month of 2024 left, the big rocks to get through is Christmas and onward and upward to 2025! 2024 was the year of change. 2025 is the year of renewal.